Monday, April 14, 2014

Moving

Cleaning out old boxes I find:

old clothes that ive long passed fitting

old bills that have long passed the point of being due

old notes to myself that have long passed the point of purpose

old poems that have long passed the place of remembrance

old pictures that I refuse to view

old love letters that still hurt like new

 

I think to myself,

“I was better then wasn’t I?

 

My writing seemed more pure

My voice seemed more authentic

My passion seemed to burn hotter
I had a reason to own all those ties

 

What happen to me?”

We all change

rather we want to or not

but

shouldn’t I be looking back with a smile?

 

I think to myself,

Thank God I'm not there anymore.

yet here is not that much better

it is arguably worse.

What happen to


Me?”

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

The Esoteric Autodidact

The truth is
im a relic

Im good at things from a time gone by
I exceed at things
never shown to me

Self-taught (_____)

they always say
with hole hearted delight and honesty,

"your work has such a;
pure
raw
gritty 
unrefined
rough around the edges feel to it."


I wasnt trying to be
any of those things

I wasnt trying to be
cool

I damn sure wasnt
trying to sell you something

I wasnt even trying
in the sense or tense that you 
think I was
assumed I was


I was and am
being me

whatever words you think fit that 
so be it

I already have 
and reserve the right to continue to
define myself

 

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Spiderman

Spiderman

 

that’s why we like him

 

he wasn’t sitting around wishing he could fly

nor did he have the means of a secret billionaire

 

he was smart

very smart

some called him a smart ass

but he knew more whom were smarter

most of all

he was clever

 

he had doubts and insecurities

was self-conscious a time or two

 

If he was real

he’d laugh because it would make sense

he would be the one whose movies all sucked (except for James Franco)

 

Haters to the right of him

Haters to the left of him

stronger

faster

vastly more intelligent

leaders of the criminal world

the police

the media

I did mention that he was clever

 

We like him because he is like us

he may not have been extravagantly or exceptionally

special

but he was enough

more than enough

 

He was himself

fully and completely

flawed capabilities

functional disabilities

 

he made it work

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

 

Monday, April 7, 2014

You are your own creation

 

Male

 

We think we understand because it’s the most physical

before anything

you look down and you see

they have told you

this

is manhood

 

if you get stuck in that thinking

your male member defining the state of being a man

you stay in ignorance

A boy

 

Black

 

We think we understand because it is more physical

we are taught that it is a color

we are told that it is a race

we learn the subjugation and oppression

we learn the glory of past and present

some understand the duty to the future

preserving and teaching the knowledge learned since the foundation of all mankind

 

some try to define what it is through someone else’s definition

Some say anything less than African is incorrect

how could a foreign captive held in bondage ever be a citizen of the land that bound them

a bird in a rabbits nest is still a bird

which may be true

 

some say how can one call oneself African if one

speaks no African language

has no direct African relatives

has never seen the sun rise and set upon

nor ever smelled

African soil

the cultural difference between an American and a European is the same as

the difference between an African and an European

which may be true

 

Gay

 

We think we understand because it is popular to define it as something physical

We are told and taught to hide

We are told and taught that it is ok

that is really the only choice one ever has

assuming an identity based on sexuality is reductive thinking

 

more than sex

more that sexual partners

more than parties

more than stereotypes

 

this is a trap that some fall into

a lifestyle that is attributed to the word but is not exclusive to it

 

Free

 

the ability to love freely based on self

the ability to define self for self and by self

the ability to relate and express self to self and the world

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

 

 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Eighteen Pence

understanding you

should be as simple as self

fragments are void

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

Saturday, April 5, 2014

I’m not as nosy as you think I am

I don’t look most people in the eye when I speak with them

not because I have something to hide

its because people should be allowed their secrets

 

Some people’s souls leap out at you

shouting and screaming

telling everything they try to silence

showing everything that is inside

 

sometimes things they have forgotten

sometimes things they do know are there

 

Some people

say exactly what is in their heart

when it is in their heart

normally what is on the inside

is reflected out

 

Those people I try to keep around me

Those people I like to see smile

 

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

John George

"Keep it together"

 

That's what they say

But

 

Why would I want to keep

This

Together

 

This

Is bullshit.

 

why not

just let it all go

 

why not

just completely shut down

 

I've done it before

 

I remember

all they did was looking whisper

all they did was get quiet when I came near

after a while

everything went back to normal

everything led me back to here

 

so why not

so why shouldn't I

 

this

is bullshit

 

there is no logical reason to

but I guess I have to

 

it was never about losing

it's about not pretending

and that's the bullshit

 

everyone is just pretending

But

when you decide not to pretend anymore

somehow

we've deemed that unacceptable

 

we have to

 

" keep it together."

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

 

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