Saturday, November 29, 2014

A Clairvoyant Crush

 

 

Just say that I did admit how I feel about you

say that I said I was interested

I admitted that your mind fascinates me

I acknowledge that your vibrations harmonize with mine

I confessed to constructing conversations just to hear your voice and maybe see you smile

 

what then

 

I am too old for you as you are now

it would not be fair to you as I am now

you have so much life to live

so many lessons to learn

on your own

as I did

 

need to learn

on your own

as I did

 

without someone tainting it with their own failures

without someone jading it with their own success

without someone crippling you with aged seriousness and subdued patience

 

what then

 

We cant date because neither of have any money

lies I tell myself

lies I justify amongst myself

I know you

 

You’re the type of man that wouldn’t care

we could sit at the bus stop sharing headphones and a chicken wrap

listening to NPR

on our way to go protest

I know you

 

we could go to the bookstore and discuss

for hours

Kafkaesque minutia and Orwellian grandeur

 

we could go for long walks and hear

for hours

The Budos band in our chest and step and Fela in our soul and heart

 

what then

 

Do you now understand why you deserve better

than poor old me

 

Do you now understand why I haven’t

why I wont attempt

the beautifully opulent and too young for me

as I am now

that is you

 

I’ll accept this juvenile awkwardness because it is all that I can have

anything else

anything more

would be selfish

would be unfair

to the vision that is you

 

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Ghosts & Spirits

 

That’s interesting

 

one implies a haunting

hair on the back of necks standing on end

unexpected unexplained

 

chills

 

down backs

up spines

in the air

 

something

in the corner of an eye

 

That’s interesting

 

one implies a total take over

encompassing and embodying

an age or art

 

the essence of a being

the essence of being

the essence

 

That’s interesting.

 

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

In The Hour

That’s life

isn’t it

 

you said:

 

“She’s in labor,

any time now.”

 

She never wanted kids

before.

 

Happy

 

That’s life

isn’t it

 

you said:

 

“He killed himself,

overdosed.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

He missed him too much.”

 

He never used drugs

before.

 

Sad

 

That’s life

isn’t it

 

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Learning to walk but not to see

 

how am I supposed to be something to you

I don’t even know what I am supposed to be to me

 

first I figure:

 

I forget

everything I possibly can they said

everything they said about my culture

everything they said about my people

everything they said about my family

everything they said about my parents

everything they said about me

 

second I figure:

 

I learn

everything I possibly can

everything possible about my culture

everything possible about my people

everything possible about my family

everything possible about my parents

everything possible about me

 

Now is when it started

Now is when I see

 

I see

my self clearly

know my self clearly

understand enough clearly

 

I was never supposed to be something to you

I was always supposed to be something to me

 

clearly I see how it was all divided:

cultures

peoples

families

parents

me

 

The verity in and of creation is art

The verity in and of the universe is art

 

Art is not separation and division

it is the creative expression of the whole

Art dose not dictate that you hate the flower and love the moon

Art does not dictate that you reason the ocean superior and sky inferior

 

If you let it

 

Art teaches individual and mutual appreciation of the two as two

and as one

 

I don’t need to be something to you

You don’t need to be something to me

 

Some say it is their plan

Some say it is how they stay in control

 

we already were something

we already are something

we always will be something

 

we just needed to see

the beauty of the art that is eachother

the beauty of the art that is you

the beauty of the art that is me.

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Too many reasons for things not real



There,
underneath the streetlight as day fades,
supported by the concrete walls.
time and space slow around you.

I remind myself;

“This isn’t really happening,
its just me,
its just part of the crush that has crept upon me.”

I speak
to hear the sound of your voice
to see you redirect your hair
to watch your lips move
to delight in your every intellectual postulation

I remind myself;

“Dial it back
keep it in check
don’t make it weird”

I sprint through all the reasons why it would.

This is a one sided crush:
of the party of the first party
which would be me

“I'm going to get coffee before this thing starts. I’ll talk to you latter.”

There,
underneath the streetlight as night has come
I stand alone on my feet
time and space resume

I remind myself;

“This is just me
this never really happened
if he was interested at all
he would have said,”

“You wanna come too?”
© Christopher F. Brown 2014

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Stars And The Youniverse

 

Coded meanings

with ancient names and tongues

 

Symbolism of elements

and self

 

Symbolism of senses

and self

 

we

and all things

come from one

and many

 

we

not all

want to be one

not realizing

 

we

and all things

already are one

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2014

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