Saturday, November 29, 2014

A Clairvoyant Crush



Just say that I did admit how I feel about you

say that I said I was interested

I admitted that your mind fascinates me

I acknowledge that your vibrations harmonize with mine

I confessed to constructing conversations just to hear your voice and maybe see you smile


what then


I am too old for you as you are now

it would not be fair to you as I am now

you have so much life to live

so many lessons to learn

on your own

as I did


need to learn

on your own

as I did


without someone tainting it with their own failures

without someone jading it with their own success

without someone crippling you with aged seriousness and subdued patience


what then


We cant date because neither of have any money

lies I tell myself

lies I justify amongst myself

I know you


You’re the type of man that wouldn’t care

we could sit at the bus stop sharing headphones and a chicken wrap

listening to NPR

on our way to go protest

I know you


we could go to the bookstore and discuss

for hours

Kafkaesque minutia and Orwellian grandeur


we could go for long walks and hear

for hours

The Budos band in our chest and step and Fela in our soul and heart


what then


Do you now understand why you deserve better

than poor old me


Do you now understand why I haven’t

why I wont attempt

the beautifully opulent and too young for me

as I am now

that is you


I’ll accept this juvenile awkwardness because it is all that I can have

anything else

anything more

would be selfish

would be unfair

to the vision that is you


© Christopher F. Brown 2014


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