Too many reasons for things not real

There,

underneath the streetlight as day fades,

supported by the concrete walls.

time and space slow around you.

I remind myself;

“This isn’t really happening,

its just me,

its just part of the crush that has crept upon me.”

I speak

to hear the sound of your voice

to see you redirect your hair

to watch your lips move

to delight in your every intellectual postulation

I remind myself;

“Dial it back

keep it in check

don’t make it weird”

I sprint through all the reasons why it would.

This is a one sided crush:

of the party of the first party

which would be me

“I'm going to get coffee before this thing starts. I’ll talk to you latter.”

There,

underneath the streetlight as night has come

I stand alone on my feet

time and space resume

I remind myself;

“This is just me

this never really happened

if he was interested at all

he would have said,”

“You wanna come too?”

© Christopher F. Brown 2014

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