Its my fault
I was supposed to be
the one that was more advanced
the teacher and guide
Instead I walked with you
Hand in hand into hunger and want
I watched as lust took hold
even though I knew
even though I knew
They always ask
Why don’t I write about happy things
love and such
They really think that which they label
is
©Christopher F. Brown 2015
I waited till nightfall
till the water was cold
till the water matched the midnight sky
I threw myself in
Face first I exhaled
till all the air fled my lungs
till I willed them to function as gills
I threw myself in
Motionless I became
till my exhilaration formed into yet another disappointment
till I had something else to add to my pile of outlier experiences
I threw myself in
Sensation returned to my eyes
till the sting of the sun again became a warm embrace
till understanding once again claimed squatter rights in my mind
I threw myself in
The river wouldn’t have me
In the morning on the other side of all the things
I went back to it all knowing
The river threw me out
© Christopher F. Brown 2015
5000 years ago
the shamans and the medicine workers looked into the fire
they saw me and you
you and I
They saw us
They called us gods
smoking cigarettes
They thought we breathed fire
getting in and out of cars, trains, and planes
They thought we could move between the realms of living and dead
using computers,
watching tv,
talking on cellphones
They thought limit was the thing not within our understanding
the fire of the future showed them
what they thought were gods
they couldn't hear our flaws
They couldn't smell our decay
Through the fire
They saw gods
in the mirror
most only see rot
in the mirror
most can't see past misplaced shame.
ⓒ Christopher F. Brown 2015
water in the desert
fire in the tundra
Trust
unlike anything else that claims to be such
is precious
is rare
So much so that some have
never seen it
never heard it
never experienced it
to them it's myth and fairytale
little more than a half happy lie
Trust
to them that know
It's more fickle than a candle flame
It's more stable than helium
if you have it
treat it as the rare gift it is
if you have it
know that its strength depends on yours
if you have it
know that it has you
if you leave it
know it leaves you.
©Christopher F. Brown 2015
