Confused delusions

Am I wasting my time or is this time well spent?

 

“Pack it up and call it quits.” Or “Hang on, just for one more day.”

 

One more try maybe?

 

Does the promise of ten fold await or am I finally grasping my hallucinations of aspirations?

 

Dreams and delusions are the same; steam and smoke, nothing more than vapor of the mind. Which ones do I hold on to? Which ones do I let fade?

 

I’m lucky to be alive and that is the extent of it. If I knew that I sucked I’d be the first to admit it. Assholes and some random mutha fuckas I can’t really trust. While friends and family don’t say anything at all that my paranoid ears hear correctly.

 

Confusion.

 

I sigh and exhale still wondering, contemplating what is real or what it is that I want to be real. So many words in my head and I try to quicken my hand while placing them in some order that not only makes sense, but sounds to the ear like sweet tastes to the tongue.

 

Sometimes I believe it works sometimes I throw it all away knowing trash when I see it. Watching miracles happen around me I question,

 

“Is mine bearing witness?”

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2009