Eagle Amongst Swans

Lord

Did I follow your will
or did I ask you to bless mine?

Have I been seeking and betting on your divine insurance
to cover the choices I’ve made
or have I merely taken comfort
in the divinely insured choices you have made
for my life?

Is it some trial
which gives reason to the constant discomfort
in this new place?

Was it that I asked you to follow me here
Instead of listening
And going
When you told me to go there?

The devil has no:
Power
Trick
Or scheme
That is
Or ever will be
Greater
Than the blood,
Your blood
That I’m covered in

I’ve even spit on the devils name
Laughed in his face
And to add insult to injury
Danced when it rains

I knew
With your help
Nothing that will ever come my way
Will ever be more that I can bear.

Why is it that they claim the warmth of your love
But the truth of their touch is as cold as the dead?
The gift you gave me
That lets me see their hearts bursting
And over flowing with love
Is also the gift that confuses me.

That gift you gave me
Shows me that
Towards me
The overflow
The explosion
Not even a drop do I receive

Lord

Did I come and do what you intended
Or was this never supposed to be

Your plan
Will
Instruction
And love
Is what I seek

This place that I’m in
These people I’m around
We all claim your name

Why do I feel uncomfort?

Why
In the midst of them
Do I feel you are my only friend?

Why
In their company
Do I feel as strange
More awkward and out of place
As an eagle amongst swans?

We are all your children
We all love you
So why do I feel like the redheaded one
Not allowed to share
And said to be equal the same
But still alone.

©Christopher F. Brown 2010