Thursday, April 3, 2014

Broken Picker Probability (or) 0%


I don’t like the fact that I'm attracted to you

I would say


but that is too powerful of a word to use

with you

with anyone


Its nothing personal against you

I'm pretty sure you are a great person

its just I know

well, at least

I'm pretty sure

some self-destructive deficiency of mine

sees its jigsaw complement in you

I refuse to act upon it anymore

Ive learned to stop telling people as well


They always say:

Give them a chance.

Find out something about them.

Be friends.

(which I think is the worst one because it makes it that much harder to walk)
Not everybody is the same


What do I get when I do:


many prayers for peace only answered by intensifying wars

many special days and nights marked by the new levels of rage, guilt, and shame

many times of waking to find empty bed spaces, cold sheets, and you

walking through the door

many times of pretending nothing was wrong until

I had to admit everything was


so yeah


I don’t like the fact that I'm attracted to you

Its nothing personal against you

but I'm pretty sure

something terrible has to be wrong with you


I believe if I said this


you’d be a conditional probability


given my history as 100% bullshit ( we’ll call that S)

what is the probability of you not being bullshit (we’ll call that not S)

so if S = 100%

then P(not S|S)

can only have one answer


© Christopher F. Brown 2014



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