what now

When I was younger I believed in God, Love, and Magic.

When I grew older they told me not to believe in magic anymore, it was childish and silly. They finally said that it was witchcraft and against God.

 

When I was a child I believed that God never makes mistakes, that God loves everything great and small and in between. I use to sing songs about how Jesus loves the little children. When I became a “man” I was told that the wages of sin was death. If you live a godly life and where a good (Baptist, Pentecostal, Episcopal, Methodist, Seventh day Adventist, Mormon, Catholic, Lutheran, even Non-Denominational, whatever) and only a (Baptist, Pentecostal, Episcopal, Methodist, Seventh day Adventist, Mormon, Catholic, Lutheran, even Non-Denominational, whatever) then the kingdom heaven would be yours. I was told that sinners would all burn in hell and that to lay with a mans as one would a woman then it was an abomination.

 

Imagine my surprise to know that as a child my God loved me no matter what but as a “man” I disgust the creator of all things great and small and in between. I disgust the knower and founder of all knowledge. I disgust the omnipotent one because of something that I had no part in and no control over. As a man, somehow, it does not make since to me. It sounds more like something another man would think of instead of the God I use to know.

 

When I was a little child I believed that love (whatever that was) made the world go round and that what your heart was for. When I grew older I realized I’ve never known that type of love and have known it all too well. I’ve seen the very thing pass me and abide with me in my home as if majesty became mine. Then when the majesty became real it was gone like it was never there.

 

So what now?

 

©Christopher F. Brown 2009